


A Subtle Decay

by TheGentleArtOfMakingEnemies



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Agoraphobia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Arguing, Bulimia, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Incest, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Sibling Incest, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21824548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGentleArtOfMakingEnemies/pseuds/TheGentleArtOfMakingEnemies
Summary: Jeremiah Valeska has always had his issues with food. He is known for being a picky eater and he often forgets to eat while working on a project. So when he develops an eating disorder he isn't suprised.Or the one where Jeremiah becomes anorexic and no one notices.
Relationships: Jeremiah Valeska/Jerome Valeska
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	A Subtle Decay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. Look this fanfiction could be triggering to those who have or have had anorexia nervosa. Please do not read this if it is going to cause you to relapse or cause things to get worse for you. I love and care about you all and do not want you to get hurt.

____________________________________

_I wanna be alone_

_Alone with you - does that make sense?_

_I wanna steal your soul_

_And hide you in my treasure chest_

  
  


_____________________________________

  
  


If you asked him Jeremiah would probably tell you that the eating thing, has always been a problem. He's always been a picky eater and he often gets caught up in a project only to finish his work and realize he hasn't eaten in days. But then again, he's always had someone around to remind him after going too long since his last meal. He guesses that's why all of this happened, really. 

It started with a fight. Jerome had come home smelling like booze and with a new hickey on his neck after having been gone for days. Jeremiah had been so worried he had practically lived on the verge of a panic attack since his brother had left so when he stumbled in a drunken mess he had been filled with anger and before he knew it they were both screaming horrible things at each other. 

"I'm allowed to have a life Miah, jesus christ it's not my fucking fault you refuse to leave this god damn house."

"Wow I'm sorry my mental health is such a god damn burden for you. You don't think I wish I could fucking leave too, asshole? I would love to actually have a conversation with someone who isn't you for once. Anyone else!" 

"If I'm so awful to be around then why the fuck are you always so bitchy when I leave?" 

"I literally don't have any other choice. And trust me, anybody would be better. But I'm stuck with you, so…" 

"Then why the fuck am I even here? Every time I come back I'm fucking miserable and you obviously dont want me here anyway." 

  
  


The door had slammed and had taken all of his anger with it, leaving him in the soul sucking silence with only his guilt. He hadn't meant the things he had said. He was just hurt and if he's being honest with himself, _jealous_. Jealous because Jerome gets to leave this nightmare and go meet new people and experience real things. 

And Jeremiah is trapped here. Stuck in a cage created by his own mind. Despite his anger he hadn't wanted him to leave. Wasn't that the whole point? He had just wanted Jerome to understand how terrible it was when he was gone. 

He sat down on the couch. And waited. Waited for his brother to cool off and come home so they could have a rational conversation about this. 

He figured it would only be a few hours before Jerome would come stumbling in through the door apologizing and then Jeremiah would apologize too. They'd work it out like they always do. And everything would go back to normal. 

He dozed off as the weight of the day finally settled in. The thought of forgiveness floating around inside his head. 

  
  
  
  
  


But Jeremiah woke to an empty house. 

  
  
  
  


So he waited. He waited for hours. But hours turned into days. And days turned into weeks. And weeks turned into months. 

And he never came home. 

_____________________________________

  
  


_And let me crawl inside your veins_

_I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain_

_It's not like me to be so mean_

_____ __________________________________

  
  


It'd been a week since the fight when Jeremiah throws himself into a project and pretends the quiet in the house isn't deafening. 

He stands with blueprints and half baked ideas thrown everywhere like confetti. He settles on the self-perpetuating generator he designed but decided would be too dangerous to build, as he places the rest of the papers back inside his desk. 

He ruffles around in his building room gathering parts and ignoring the voices practically echoing around the room. 

He wants to scream but instead he starts putting together parts. 

**_What if he isn't coming back?_ **

He jumps and knocks over a tool box and ignores how his hands shake as he pulls each wrench and screwdriver back into the box. 

**_What if that fight was just an excuse to get away from you?_ **

The voice is feminine and soft. He used to find it comforting as a child, now it just makes him feel sick. 

**_Who are you kidding, he isn't coming back. Who would want to come back to this?_ **

He shakily pulls himself back to his feet and walks over to his whiskey stache. His trembling fingers wrap around the neck of the alcohol bottle and pour it over into the glass. 

**_You can't hold him hostage forever. Isn't that why you yelled at him in the first place?_ **

He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that it's all in his head. 

**_Because you knew that one day he just wouldn't come back? That he'd rather be out there in the real world anyway? That he'd grow tired of you and your illnesses._ **

  
  


**_That he hates you for taking his chances for a normal life away from him?_ **

"Your wrong." 

His own voice surprises him as it bursts out of his throat. 

"He doesn't hate me." His voice is unsure and scratchy from disuse. 

**_If that's true, then why isn't he here?_ **

Jeremiah doesn't have a response for that. 

  
  


_____________________________________

_You're all I wanted_

_Just let me hold you_

_Like a hostage_


End file.
